So I've been doing some soul-searching...and these are some things I found out about myself... I think I am an extremist... I know I don't talk to the Lord enough....and I need to be quiet before Him more.... I fear neglecting my gifts... or using them and not giving the glory to the Lord... I fear good deeds based on bad motives... I hate complacency and apathy... I don't like questions I can't answer... I hate pride... I need to sing...loud...softly...always... I love dancing wildly, crazily twirling, stomping, skipping, and jumping around (when only Jesus is watching)... I cry sometimes when words won't suffice... I don't like comparing myself to others- but I do it anyways... I wonder if God gets bored with watching me make the same mistakes over and over... I get bored with myself sometimes. I wish I only had to learn a lesson once... I want an undivided heart. I want to know exactly what the Lord wants me to do, so I can do it. But I think the Lord doesn't actually tell me specifically what He wants me to do because then I wouldn't have freedom. I think God wants me to choose my life's path,.and honor Him with my choice. I can easily freak myself out with questions like "Is THIS the WILL OF GOD!?!?!" But I know His will: It's that I would love Him with all my heart, soul, and mind. That I would love my neighbor as myself... Maybe the Lord wants me to be a nurse. Maybe the Lord wants me to travel all over singing my songs and living out of a van... Maybe the Lord wants me to live in Africa... Maybe the Lord doesn't care as much WHAT I am, as WHO I am... Maybe I should not focus so much on becoming a better student, or friend, or song-writer... my focus should be on becoming a better follower of Christ. Isn't that where my identity lies anyways? If my identity lies in Christ, then the decisions I make are just reflections of my identity... The Lord can use me anywhere...He just longs for my heart to be right before Him... I must trust that He'll open a door if He wants me to walk through it...and that He'll shut one if He wants me to do something else...and I have to trust that He'll make it obvious to me, because He knows I don't "get it" easily. That brings peace to my stressed-out soul, and clarity to my short-sighted eyes... Thank you Lord for Your patience... Please help me to be patient with myself... | 
